Monday, November 21, 2011

What does your baggage look like?

I recently attended a leadership program run by former Victorian Police Commissioner, Christine Nixon.  She spoke about the baggage we bring to a leadership role.  I sat there thinking about the baggage we bring to our own personal image and visual branding.  It comes from habits, stages of life, our priorities as we navigate forward, guilt, fear of the unknown, education, lack of support, body image, lack of skills and language, fear of failure or success, our confidence levels and what some well thinking person said 25 years ago.  Big list eh?

Funny thing is that we all have some form of baggage, conscious or unconscious.  It's there.  Fear of success is huge for women and it is a documented issue.  This occurs for women in leadership and in their career.  I see it play out in wardrobes - all the time.  Angela lives in Queensland.  She's a successful business woman and is currently writing a book.  A tiny size 6-8, she carries the echo in her head from her well meaning mother that nothing off the rack fits her.  Nothing!  She's just not the perfect pattern size.  Her mother sewed and verbalised her frustration to her young daughter, 30 years ago.  Until recently she was petrified to shop because 'nothing fits me'.  Yeah right!  Not any more.

Angela says: “As a result my confidence has literally gone through the roof... confidence in getting the most out of my existing wardrobe (which makes me happy to get value out of the money I have already spent in there), knowing and liking my body for what it already is and realizing that there is a lot I can do with it (I don’t have to lose 3 more kg’s just so I can look good) and becoming completely conscious about the clothing styles and designs I do like and being able to instantly identify them when I am in a shop overwhelmed by garments.  I was absolutely wrapped with what she did for me and my life, so convinced of how transformational it was for me that I have booked Helen to consult with my 15yo and 13yo daughters. All I could think when she had worked with me was ‘if only I had this information years ago’... well I didn’t, however my girls can have it and it is worth the investment... every cent.”

 Janet struggled to see how she was worthy of paying full price and spent most of her time hovering about the sale rack.  Of course there is nothing wrong with bagging a bargain, but at what cost to our self esteem if this is the pattern being played out time and time again.  It took some work convincing this highly educated lady that she will quickly forget what she spends on that one fabulous item but she will NEVER forget how great she feels wearing it.  My rules around the sale rack are simple. 
  1. You must love it so much that you would be willing to pay full price.  That makes it a bargain!
  2.  Next, you need it to build your existing wardrobe capsule.  It is either a basic, a bridging piece or a statement of your style expression.  If it's not, then we label it an orphan and it can go back on the rack.  It's NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU!  Got it?
 No matter how qualified or deserving we are, we will never reach a better life until we can imagine it for ourselves and allow ourselves to have it.

You are worth of full price.  That does not mean we won't 'do a deal' at the register as part of your shopping experience.  I've been known to uncover retailers secrets to a lower price at the register just by asking.

Linda is consciously aware and awake to her baggage of not having the skills and the language to assist her 15 and 21 year old daughters.  She's under no illusion that she can't wing it.  Her girls mean far too much to her. 

What she understands is that a particularly delicate language and a good dose of skill is required in these developmental years in regard to a positive body image and she's not sure she's equipped with getting it right. 

Smart mother saved her sanity, saved some money and ended up hero of the day for hiring the professional.


Some words of wisdom for you to ponder from Christine Nixon:
  • We all have limits but many of them are not real.
  • Be yourself because everyone else is taken.
  • Be a first rate version of yourself, instead of a second rate version of someone else.
  • Other people's opinion of you is none of your business.
I'm keen to hear, if you are willing to share.  What baggage are you carrying that you could offload?